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In contemporary society, so rampant is the issue of waste, especially in campus.
前面状语开头,后面“so rampant is the issue of waste”就不必倒装了。此外,说一个issue(话题)是rampant(猖獗的),属于修饰不当。 in campus少了一个定冠词,应该是in the campus。 --------------------------------------- 关于这段:There was a time when people, due to various reasons, forget to value saving. Generally speaking, we can find a multitude of factors account for this phenomenon. First and foremost, recent decades have witnessed the rapid development of people’s living standards. Meanwhile, city born and city bred, some college students have always regarded some items as something you can buy wherever if you want. As a result, it is a well-know fact that they have an obsession with their new things and that, given half a chance, they will throw the old one whatever it useful. 关于:There was a time when people, due to various reasons, forget to value saving. 这个句子属于时态不一致,前面用was过去式,后面却用forget,改为forgot。 我发现你很喜欢用插入语,一个优美的句子不一定必须要处处都用插入语的,要酌情使用。 关于:we can find a multitude of factors account for this phenomenon. account改为accounting,不能直接用动词原形跟在名词factors的后面,要用现在分词,因为现在分词跟在名词的后面相当于一个定语从句。we can find a multitude of factors accounting for this phenomenon = we can find a multitude of factors which account for this phenomenon 关于:people’s living standards,standard没有必要用复数,单数standard就可以了。 关于:some college students have always regarded some items as something you can buy wherever if you want. 既然你写的是items,复数。那么something是单数,就有冲突了。要把items改为item,即have always regarded some item as something ..... 后面也有错,you can buy wherever if you want改为you can buy wherever you want. 注意,wherever之后不必再加if。 关于:As a result, it is a well-know fact that they have an obsession with their new things and that, given half a chance, they will throw the old one whatever it useful. well-know 要改为well-known,你对这个单词不熟悉。 have an obsession with这样的短语很奇怪,建议你用另外一个意思更清楚的、更好的短语替换。 and that, given half a chance, they will throw the old one whatever it useful. 这样的插入语用了很不怎么美观,插入语其实也是造成句子不通畅的一个因素。你可以试着换一下不用插入语的句式。这个given half a chance也是用得不好,建议改写。 they will throw the old one whatever it useful. 改为they will throw the old one even if it's useful. 用even if(即使...)就好多了。 --------------------------------------------------- 关于这段:Wasting is bound to generate severe consequences if we keep turning a blind eye to. In the first place, this behavior will directly threaten our students’ good character. In the second place, treating the lost items means a grievous waste of money, time and resources. Last but not least, we don’t need sophisticated theory to understand that it has against our Chinese traditional virtue of hard work and simple living, which is dangerous to souls of mankind. Wasting is bound to generate severe consequences if we keep turning a blind eye to. 改为Wasting is bound to generate severe consequences to which if we keep turning a blind eye. 这样就好多了。那个to就不用放在末尾了。 a grievous waste of money中的grievous用得不好,可以改为severe。 it has against 错误,改为it is against或it has been against(has been表延续,“一直...” ,因为against不是名词,是介词,因此不能用has against。 -------------------------- In view of the seriousness of this problem, effective measures must be taken before things get worse. To begin with, it is essential that the supervisory role of laws and regulations should be strengthened to punish those people who wasting. Moreover, the public should enhance their awareness of saving. I cherish an unshakable belief that this troubles will become a things of the past and that we will have a harmonious and prosperous society. to punish those people who wasting. 后面的who wasting有问题,改为who are wasting I cherish an unshakable belief that this troubles .... 中的this troubles错误,troubles应改为单数trouble a things of the past 中也有单复数冲突的错误,a things要改为a thing and that we will have a harmonious and prosperous society. 这句的that可以去掉,多余。 ------------------------------- 低级错误太多,表达又不好。若是我来评分,不及格。但是说不定阅卷老师看试卷太多,然后稍不留神就让你及格了。 还是需要多多努力,写得比上次好一些了,要再努力一些,加油!↖(^ω^)↗ 最后修改于 2009/12/13 14:04:29
2年前 回答者: steve982927 - Q根九级
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