沪江小Q / 全部问题 / 考试英语 / 英语六级
希望指出任何一点小错，拼写、语法、结构、遣词造句等。
还烦请再写个详细的英文框架（毕竟200分嚒~，辛苦者可以再要求红包。）
中文框架：
1)近年来“博客”越来越流行，许多人利用“博客”来表达心声、交流想法
2)博客流行的原因
3)目前的博客中可能存在的问题
The Popularity of Blog
As is vividly illustrated in the internet, in contemporary society, especially the past one decade, that we may find ourselves surrounded by a great deal of blogs, such as some fashion blog with daily street spot. And it's not extremely astonishing for us to enjoy nobody's thinking before somebody's opinion. Why，you may wonder, should blog be the part of our life and a increasing popularity place for exchange ideas?
A multitude of factors, both individual and society, contribute to the fantastic boom. To begin with, thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country, coincide with the advancement of human race, people in ever increasing numbers can afford the computer and Internet, which playing an indispensable role in their life. What’s more, a person who not to be everyone known also has quite glorious ideas. They can share anything though the internet without any check.
There’s no deny that, however, that’s the only part of the picture, blog can function in the disserive of beings. When we talk about the convenience and freedom, we fail to mention that, in a way, especially the growing violence, AV-films emerging on the screen, with leads quite a few net citizens to free down which spoil the intellectual property right at the same time. But, blog do play a positive role in the development of people’s lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impact, we should, therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.
还烦请再写个详细的英文框架（毕竟200分嚒~，辛苦者可以再要求红包。）
中文框架：
1)近年来“博客”越来越流行，许多人利用“博客”来表达心声、交流想法
2)博客流行的原因
3)目前的博客中可能存在的问题
The Popularity of Blog
As is vividly illustrated in the internet, in contemporary society, especially the past one decade, that we may find ourselves surrounded by a great deal of blogs, such as some fashion blog with daily street spot. And it's not extremely astonishing for us to enjoy nobody's thinking before somebody's opinion. Why，you may wonder, should blog be the part of our life and a increasing popularity place for exchange ideas?
A multitude of factors, both individual and society, contribute to the fantastic boom. To begin with, thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country, coincide with the advancement of human race, people in ever increasing numbers can afford the computer and Internet, which playing an indispensable role in their life. What’s more, a person who not to be everyone known also has quite glorious ideas. They can share anything though the internet without any check.
There’s no deny that, however, that’s the only part of the picture, blog can function in the disserive of beings. When we talk about the convenience and freedom, we fail to mention that, in a way, especially the growing violence, AV-films emerging on the screen, with leads quite a few net citizens to free down which spoil the intellectual property right at the same time. But, blog do play a positive role in the development of people’s lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impact, we should, therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.
最佳答案
As is vividly illustrated 改为 As vividly illustrated ，去掉is
类似表达: As indicated as follows; As mentioned above
a great deal of 改为a great many
a increasing popularity place 改为 an increasingly popular place
should blog be 不用换成could blog be，因为用Should blog be ...? 来责问更好。
for exchange ideas改为for exchanging ideas
the fantastic boom改为the booming virtual product
---------------
To begin with, thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country, coincide with the advancement of human race, people in ever increasing numbers can afford the computer and Internet, which playing an indispensable role in their life.
这个就没有必要写了，很虚的话，写了也没多大意思：coincide with the advancement of human race，因此要去掉。
resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country也没有必要写，累赘的东西。
改为：To begin with, thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions, millions of people can afford the internet-connected computer, which plays an indispensable role in their lives.
-----------------
a person who not to be everyone known 改为 a person who is unknown by the public
They can share anything though the internet without any check. 改为They can share anything via the internet fearlessly.
fearlessly 表示“无所畏惧”
----------------------
blog can function in the disserive of beings. 这个the disserive of beings肯定有问题，要看你原文是什么，你再重新翻一遍。
---------------------
When we talk about the convenience and freedom, we fail to mention that, in a way, especially the growing violence, AV-films emerging on the screen, with leads quite a few net citizens to free down which spoil the intellectual property right at the same time.
这种句子的结构很乱很糟糕，属于“八宝饭”句子，建议重写。句子插入太多就成“八宝饭句子”啦！
----------------------
But, blog do play a positive role in the development of people’s lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impact, we should, therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.
blog do play 改为blog does play 第三人称单数，因此用does
要不你就改为blogs do play
这个句子的结构也很乱，建议以后不要写这种“八宝饭”类型的句子。因为这是写作文，而不是口语的意识流，一下子就流水式地写一堆东西不太好，该断句的时候要断句，该用句号的时候就用句号，这样也是方便读者。
------------------------
最后在表达意思的时候，用词和短语表达都要到位才行，一定要背熟一些搭配上更加优美和地道的表达。
------------------------
鉴于：
中文框架：
1)近年来“博客”越来越流行，许多人利用“博客”来表达心声、交流想法
2)博客流行的原因
3)目前的博客中可能存在的问题
因此：
英文框架：
1) 先描述“博客”这种现象。就是写一个Description或Introduction
2) 博客流行的原因：
Firstly,
Secondly,
Thirdly,
......
你不用这种“Firstly, ...”的表达也可以。但是句子之间的衔接要自然。
3) 目前的博客中可能存在的问题
用英文写两三个就可以了。
4) 总结(Summary)
In a word, .....
登录以后可看到完整内容！没有账号？立即注册»
提问者对于答案的评价：嗯。受教！ “八宝饭”问题我会注意了，因为马上考试了，很急切写出长句，就什么成分都想加上点儿……
类似表达: As indicated as follows; As mentioned above
a great deal of 改为a great many
a increasing popularity place 改为 an increasingly popular place
should blog be 不用换成could blog be，因为用Should blog be ...? 来责问更好。
for exchange ideas改为for exchanging ideas
the fantastic boom改为the booming virtual product
---------------
To begin with, thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country, coincide with the advancement of human race, people in ever increasing numbers can afford the computer and Internet, which playing an indispensable role in their life.
这个就没有必要写了，很虚的话，写了也没多大意思：coincide with the advancement of human race，因此要去掉。
resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country也没有必要写，累赘的东西。
改为：To begin with, thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions, millions of people can afford the internet-connected computer, which plays an indispensable role in their lives.
-----------------
a person who not to be everyone known 改为 a person who is unknown by the public
They can share anything though the internet without any check. 改为They can share anything via the internet fearlessly.
fearlessly 表示“无所畏惧”
----------------------
blog can function in the disserive of beings. 这个the disserive of beings肯定有问题，要看你原文是什么，你再重新翻一遍。
---------------------
When we talk about the convenience and freedom, we fail to mention that, in a way, especially the growing violence, AV-films emerging on the screen, with leads quite a few net citizens to free down which spoil the intellectual property right at the same time.
这种句子的结构很乱很糟糕，属于“八宝饭”句子，建议重写。句子插入太多就成“八宝饭句子”啦！
----------------------
But, blog do play a positive role in the development of people’s lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impact, we should, therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.
blog do play 改为blog does play 第三人称单数，因此用does
要不你就改为blogs do play
这个句子的结构也很乱，建议以后不要写这种“八宝饭”类型的句子。因为这是写作文，而不是口语的意识流，一下子就流水式地写一堆东西不太好，该断句的时候要断句，该用句号的时候就用句号，这样也是方便读者。
------------------------
最后在表达意思的时候，用词和短语表达都要到位才行，一定要背熟一些搭配上更加优美和地道的表达。
------------------------
鉴于：
中文框架：
1)近年来“博客”越来越流行，许多人利用“博客”来表达心声、交流想法
2)博客流行的原因
3)目前的博客中可能存在的问题
因此：
英文框架：
1) 先描述“博客”这种现象。就是写一个Description或Introduction
2) 博客流行的原因：
Firstly,
Secondly,
Thirdly,
......
你不用这种“Firstly, ...”的表达也可以。但是句子之间的衔接要自然。
3) 目前的博客中可能存在的问题
用英文写两三个就可以了。
4) 总结(Summary)
In a word, .....
登录以后可看到完整内容！没有账号？立即注册»
2009/11/29 13:48:25
回答者：steve982927
提问者对于答案的评价：嗯。受教！ “八宝饭”问题我会注意了，因为马上考试了，很急切写出长句，就什么成分都想加上点儿……
其它回答(1)
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几个小错误 as follows
a great deal of+不可数名词 建议改成a great many should blog be 这边should be 应该 显得强人所难的意思 最好用could be popularity 是名词 要改成popular for exchange ideas?这边exchange在介词后要加ing 即exchanging the fantastic boom我觉得改成the booming virtual product thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions resulting from the acceleration of innovation of our country, coincide with the advancement of human race, people in ever increasing numbers can afford the computer and Internet, which playing an indispensable role in their life. 不觉得这个句子忒长？ 建议去掉某些成分 改成thanks to the improvement of the economic and technology conditions ，numbers of people can afford the computer and Internet,which plays an indispensable role in their lives. a person who not to be everyone known also has quite glorious ideas. 这里的who not to be everyone known 我就想起了中文的“不为人知”^_^可以这样表达who is unknown by the public without any check. 这里check改成fear怎么样？ blog can function in the disserive of beings 中disserive是什么意思？俺没查到，也不明白这句具体意思。 When we talk about the convenience and freedom, we fail to mention that, 这边有2个we 觉得有点累赘，建议改成When it comes to(谈及)~，we~ especially the growing violence, AV-films emerging on the screen, with leads quite a few net citizens to free down which spoil the intellectual property right at the same time. 这句子with是不是which? 先不管 ，主要表达得累赘 看着吃力- - 建议改成especially the growing violence and flourishing AV-films lead quite a few net citizens to lose themselves. But, blog do play a positive role in the development of people’s lives, despite a slice of unfavorable impact, we should, therefore, take advantage of the fruits and avoid the opposite facet.这段最好另起一行 总结下。 总觉得写得太中式化了，这段只要简单表达下就好了 因为文章也没要求 我写下给你参考：From my point of view,everything has two sides,and Blogs are no exceptions.We should keep a positive attitude towards blogs. 第一段和第2段衔接不好 建议遇到这种类型文章就这样写：The reasons why such phenomenon arises are threefold(as follows). First, second ,third. 好了还有个别句子表 最后修改于 2009/11/29 11:57:58
2年前 回答者：
 yakusoku87 - Q枝四级
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